The Comparison Trap

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise -2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV

One of the best ways to feel discouraged and discontent with your portion is comparison. I know some of us at some point in our lives have struggled or still struggling with this thing called comparison.

In this social media driven word, it’s very easy to compare another person’s life controlled online content with your reality. It’s easy to see a really great picture dripping with smiles and happiness but in reality they may have just had a bad day, and you’re left feeling sad because they’re having such an amazing life and you’re not.

I’m not saying there aren’t people who have amazing lives and are truly happy behind the scenes of social media because there are, quite a number. My point is nobody’s life is perfect, we all have struggles and things that stress us out sometimes, but comparing your whole life to another person’s is a disservice to yourself and all God has called you to be.

It’s okay to have people you look up to, people who you admire and want to be like “when you grow up” but there’s a problem when you’re constantly obsessing about every single detail of their life, trying to copy and match up to everything they do. Some of us grew up in homes where our parents or guardians “unintentionally” compared us to one cousin somewhere or even our friends. It’s painful to say, but growing up in that kind of environment can make comparison seem normal or okay, but it’s not.

If you find yourself trying to be better than that “cousin” or “friend” and everyday you’re trying to see if you’re doing better or they are so you can feel good or not about yourself, there’s a big problem.

Why allow someone’s else’s life become yardstick to determine if you are successful or not? Don’t do it, it’s a trap.

We all have different lives, families, careers, countries, skin color, achievements, struggles and opportunities. There’s so much uniqueness, and that’s the beauty about life. It’ll be really unwise to compare two things that aren’t even similar. God was so intentional that he didn’t let one person in the world have a matching finger print, not even twins, so what exactly is our problem? Or how is it doing us ? ( if you’re not Nigerian, this just sums up “what’s wrong with us?” 😂

To be honest, I’ve had many people tell me how I’m “living the life” or ask me to lend them some huge amount of money just by looking at my instagram photos and I’m just here like “egbami” aka “collect me” because some of the time, I’m not at my best place, it’s just the beauty of the Lord upon me. I hope someone can relate?

Bonus tip – Yoruba is a Nigerian language, When you translate it literally in English, it’ll mean something else. Egabami is supposed to mean “save me” but when translated literally, lol it comes out as “collect me” 😂

Moving on, lol it’s important to fall in love with your life and your purpose, things may not be great every time but it’s okay because we’ll figure it out as long as we stick with God.

Protect your heart from envy and jealousy. If God does something for someone around you, be truly happy for them, celebrate with them and thank God on their behalf because that’s the kind of attitude that’ll attract the same blessings to your life. This may not be easy to do especially if things are not so great with you, but always remember that whatever you despise, you cannot be or have.

Our flesh wants to feel bad and curl up, wallow in self pity, and ask God “why not me ?” but if that ever helped, shouldn’t things have changed by now?

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ – 2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV

“So how can I stop comparing my life to another person’s life, how can I stop being so jealous of other people ?”

• Guard your heart against it (heart checks)
• Be thankful always and count your blessings
• Pray for the people you feel jealousy towards
• Focus on your strengths and abilities

Lastly let say that we’re all at different stages of our lives, don’t compare your morning season to another’s night season, the scale isn’t fair.

I think I need to stop typing here lol. I’ve come to the end if this post. I hope this was really helpful. Contributions? Feedback? Please do leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading.

Fisayo ❤

Outfit details :

Hair and Makeup : Ponytail Made by me

Outfit: LNL ( Nigerian brand )

Bangle : Mama ❤