Community, Confidence and Support

I hosted my ever first event in Abuja last weekend. It was all shades of amazing!

Hey guys, so I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t just skip two Sunday’s. I have no excuse, I apologize. So today, I struggled a bit with the title of this blog post, wasn’t sure of what to title it but I know it’s going to help someone. So let’s get right into it.

Cancel culture is such a popular thing among millennials, we would rather burn bridges than fix our relationships. It’s easier to preach “nobody owes you anything” to appease your conscience for your lack of emotional intelligence.

The truth is, we need each other, we need family and friends, we need people. Sometimes, the painful truth is, strangers on the internet will show better support than your closest friends or family, heck some of them don’t even believe in what you do, they will probably come around late or not, if you’re like this, please support your friends in whatever they do, If you already are, well done! It really goes a long way.

The truth is, many of us are fixated on receiving approval from people that it begins to affect our mental well being. The more you look to these people for approval, the less you believe in yourself. Everyone needs community that constantly supports them, because in an enabling environment, you thrive better. Find your enabling environment, shut out the voice of discouragement and build your confidence by taking steps to do the things that scare you the most. Just do it!

Towards the end of last year, I remember my pastor in his preaching mentioned that we should rid ourselves of “human validation” and it hit me so hard because I used to be that person and I didn’t even know it then. This need for validation showed up in various forms, me not wanting to do certain things God asked me to do because I was more concerned about how people would see me. This put stumbling blocks on my way, and I ended up being unhappy with some of the choices I made. I hadn’t fully grasped who I was in Christ and it affected the way I saw myself. When you become aware of who you are in Christ, it builds your confidence, the kind that isn’t defined by what you have but the one you know.

The awareness of my imperfections also put me in a box, I wasn’t ready to go all out because I thought I needed to be perfect to do everything God had called me to do and every time I made mistakes, the devil would come back whispering “why do you even bother” but he’s always a liar because I’ve learned that non of those things define me. Not even the things I own, not my job, not my career, where I’m from doesn’t define me. I am only defined by one person and his name is Jesus.

I should also mention this; be careful of people who are hell bent on correcting your every move, and nitpicking every thing you. Especially people who don’t mind humiliating you in front of others in the name of mentorship or whatever relationship you have with them, I have learned that not every correction builds, most do far worse than good. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have people correct you when you’re wrong, but when mistakes is all they see about you, please you have every right to stay as far away as you can from such people. You may even m start to question your own ability to do anything right. In their minds, they’re helping you but in the process they’re slowly killing your confidence. You don’t need people around you who are constantly amplifying your weaknesses that they hardly ever see any good in you.

Bad energy stay far away – Anonymous

As much as I’m an extrovert, I try to protect my peace from people and situations that bring me distress. Find a community that you share common values with and build with them. I see and hear a lot of people complaining about not having friends or a community and I just laugh because y’all are just lazy. You need to show up and be a friend if you want a friend. Shoot friendship shots, be intentional about building relationships. Be present!

I put this tweet out and the reactions and interactions I got were really funny, it just further proved my point that many people would rather complain than put in the work, stop being a lazy bum and get to work! Having a community of people you can be grow with and also be vulnerable with is so important, don’t play yourself my darling.

The host

The summary of this post is basically to encourage y’all to build relationships, get your confidence levels up by defining yourself by who you are in Christ, give support and you’ll receive support in return. I hope this post was helpful, enjoy the rest of your week.

Fisayo ❤️

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