PortHarcourt Tales – WHO INVITED YOU?

This was not the exact Bus, but something like this πŸ˜‚

Hey guys, happy new week. Like I decided in my last post to share my experiences in Portharcourt with y’all, I have brought the very first episode for 2018. So yesterday I was on a bus today going from Mile 1 to Mile 3 along the popular Ikwere road. The driver stopped to pick some more passengers, the conductor advised some of the passengers on the row behind me to adjust, next thing I heard was “madam no press me oh ” in my mind I was like AHHANN whats happening πŸ˜‚.

AHAN : popular Nigerian slang used to show surprise) lol

I turned around stylishly to see what was going on, I saw very big lady sitting next to a smallish man who was sitting next to the window looking like he couldn’t breathe . This young man had no idea that he had just made a grave mistake. From her next words and the tone of her voice I could tell the lady did not find that statement funny. She started lamenting about why people need to start minding their business. She made statements like “na my husband? Why I go press am? which kind nonsense talk be that? If I fat na una business?” She was very upset.

Almost everyone in the bus started begging her, ” ah madam abeg no vex, no mind am” while some other men in the bus saw it as the right time to discuss about the fat lady they see trying to catch the bus each morning. Hearing them discuss about fat women angered her even more, she went on complaining bitterly, “If person fat na una business?” Apparently the men who were discussing big ladies stopped to tell her sorry in a playful manner..The popular Ikwere Road, portharcout Nigeria

She politely advised them not to joke with her. The driver jokingly told her to slap the guy, and she asked him why she should, then the driver told her to stop talking if she couldn’t lay a finger on him. She didn’t stop talking, apparently the driver added fuel to fire. The part that surprised me was when she stopped speaking in pidgin English (Nigerian English), she continued, ” I’m somebody’s wife so don’t talk to me like that. If my husband was around I won’t be on this bus.” She continued in pidgin “make una no try me oh! As I dey like this man marry me keep me for house oh, na Sienna my husband dey drive, wey be my size. ”

Another guy the said abeg madam must you now tell us your husband drives a sienna, what are you now doing on this bus? before he even completed his next sentence, she called him poverty stricken, she said no man on the bus could feed her or afford big women like her. At this point I was just laughing silently in my own corner.

The poor lady complained until almost everybody got down from the bus leaving the driver, a man at the drivers seat, the conductor and I. Suddenly uncle passenger at the front, who had been quiet all the while, started advising the lady that it was okay and she shouted at him ” abeg abeg keep quite, nobody invited you ” at this point I bursted out laughing πŸ˜‚, the rest of us in the bus started laughing, even the lady herself couldn’t help it. After that we enjoyed a peaceful journey until we got to the last bus stop. The end πŸ˜‚.

Did you think this lady overreacted? AnywayI drew a few lessons from this ;

1. Be sensitive with your words, the guy who shouted ” madam no press me” could have simply used a different choice of words

2. Be quick to apologize especially when people misunderstand you

3. Don’t involve your self in public wahala aka trouble

4. Don’t try to calm an angry portharcourt woman down.

What other lessons could you draw from this guys? Kindly comment below

I hope you did enjoy this post. Thank you for reading

Fisayo ❀


21 Comments Add yours

  1. Lesson 3 definitely. Mind your business and have a good laugh too. Also a simple “sorry” could just prevent any wahala. Interesting read fisayo, i enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you darling. Minding your business is key, as the female in the car, I wanted to beg her too but something just told me to face front


  2. Debs says:

    That public wahala, I cannot even deal with. I’d rather swallow my anger in public than become an object of attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honestly, I run from it like a plague

      Liked by 1 person

  3. lilianokibe says:

    If you had burst into laughter earlier than you did you might have gotten into trouble with the lady.πŸ˜‚ That’s one lesson I need to teach myself because I always get into trouble for laughing aloud at times like that.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ omg !
      Please we’re twins. I was really holding it in. Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oluwatobi Ogunfusika says:

    Don’t embarrass yourself in public. Have some respect for yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Abi. Thank you Tobi and welcome to the wordpress family


  5. Lmao so much comedy for one trip πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Honestly. I see funny things every single day πŸ˜‚


  6. Sim says:

    Hahaha. I can imagine!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Seriously, the man should have been more careful in choosing his words.
    Regardless, I feel some TOO fat people should pay for 2seats to avoid inconveniencing another passenger.
    I get so offended when someone is TOO fat and I’m trying to ignore the fact that I am sufficiently squeezed because my parents raised me right, and the person keeps buying and eating at every hold up point.
    It is disrespectful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ omg. I agree with you. Personally I think she had similar experiences in the past, so she decided to unleash

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Hephzybee says:

      Lolz. I agree with you

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oluchi says:

    The drama shifted form Lagos buses to PH. Lmao. Your lessons are thorough.

    Idle head


    1. hahaha. I was shook. Thanks for stopping by Oluchi x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Fadekesays says:

    Lol I thought all this only happens in Lagos. Haha. This made me smile. ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Fadekesays says:

    This made me smile. Lol. I thought this only happens in Lagos.
    Weldone girl ❀️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nahh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Thank you. We missed you 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Hephzybee says:

    I enjoyed reading. My lesson is “stop trying to explain yourself to every body, some just can’t understand”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yuppp 😊😊


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s