Relationship Views – By Ellahillz


Whether you’re dating, courting or in a relationship, couples (especially new ones) are prone to having issues. But the big question is, “Are You dating, courting or marrying right? 

Like they say, do not wash your dirty linens in public, but in the same light, do not give a false impression of living a rosy life to seek fancy opinions from viewers, which include: B.B (Bad belle) and  W.W (well wishers) when you’re apparently suffering in silence.  A solidified relationship is a union of two great forgivers.  

*First Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

…. But he he, ensure you’re enjoying more than you are enduring.

Now, permit me ask some questions that’s been bothering me for a while.

1. Shouldn’t there be a platform that amplifies the basic ills in a relationship so that it doesn’t take inexperienced couples by surprise when these weaknesses begins to manifest? I mean, there are numerous platforms that project unions to seem all rosy and perfect but not so in the case of ill relationships.

2. Why is it okay to splash pictures of your friends (male and female) but “inappropriate” to upload pictures of who you’re in a relationship with? I think I can attempt this. The answer is very simple. Our minds are pre/post-occupied with the negative. We begin to ponder, “What if it doesn’t work? Ha! they’ll laugh at me if it doesn’t work.” 

Ever tried rephrasing to, “What if it works?”  “Oh! it will work!” That’s a positive approach.

*In Sheryl Brady’s voice: “The devil hates family!” 

Dating, courting or a married life doesn’t overrule the possibility of a crash. Reason why God should be in the centre of our affairs. A three-fold cord isn’t easily broken.

Uninterestingly, the women are mostly the object of ridicule when things fall apart. Religion, Tradition and Society hasn’t been  fair to women from time immemorial. It’s the ugly reality. 

Women are the only ones with the ability of carrying pregnancies, breast feeding and nurturing an infant. Menstruation and menopause is solely linked to women. Men are accrued with the responsibility of proposing a marriage while women are accrued with the responsibility of sustaining a home.  Also, it’s been medically proven that women are prone to contacting sexual diseases compared to the men. 

Until there is a supernatural swap in the out listed roles, then I’m sorry, the men stay winning.

In my opinion (especially to the ladies), the only way to keep your head high is to “shut your legs” until the deal is sealed. In Mummy D’s voice, “No ringie, no dingie.” 

Mind you, some are shutting their legs but not dating right. Being a virgin or a secondary virgin isn’t a free ticket to having a blissful home. Establish a healthy relationship where both parties can grow in every ramification. 

The older I became, I understood the need for privacy. Not everybody deserves to access your personal life on a platter. 

In October 2017, I’ll be three years down the “relationship grill”. Believe me when I say I’ve seen ALL SORTS. yet, I’m certain that there’s more to be unraveled.  But in sincerity of heart, I’m involved with someone that compliments me; career wise et al, even though we never agree on certain pivotal issues.  I won’t lie, that gets to me. It’s a torn in my flesh. I traced it down to the different orientation. But what can a sister  do? 

In the past, I used to upload pictures that captured our beautiful moments, not because I wanted to, but because it made him happy. 

Now, I’m tempted to ask again, “What if he believes a little P.D.A (public display of affection) here and there is a sign of respect and reverence for the relationship (especially when you’re dating right)?

Well, certain issues made me take my relationship off social media platforms. They were so many monitoring spirits and gossips. Also, I began to perceive him as petty. We were always arguing over the most minute things that always blew out of proportion. *I could lament over a not so flattery picture of me which he uploaded and then he’ll defend his stance by saying he liked the picture and it was his social media handle not mine. Before I could utter “jack Robinson” a heated argument would have ensued.  And so, occasionally, I thought to myself, “could I live with this “petty” all my life? Even if I was the petty one, he wasn’t supposed to join me in the ”Petty Party Address” but be my “Chairman Sir”. 

Women are wired to be dependent. *Even boss ladies know this. The “what if it doesn’t work” became my reality. More so, I didn’t want to inspire anybody with my relationship. At least, not yet. 

Being single is not a disability. Asides the ”loneliness mentality” that creeps in once in a while, there’s nothing wrong in staying single till the right person tags along. By the way, not everyone wishes to get married. Some want to live a celibate life working for God. *I almost walked down that lane. Singleness means wholeness!  

Phew… At the end of the day, there is no relationship or marriage in heaven, it is only here on planet earth we get to experiment all of these. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and a celibate life is better than a broken marriage. It shouldn’t be a thing of shame or ridicule if the “investment” fails. 

The thoughts that no one will get out alive no matter how safe we play makes me do whatever makes me happy and content. Because in the end, being intensely happy from inside out is all that really matters and we would not be judged by either an open or private relationship, but by the quality of life we live.
I know  I know! It was a lengthy read yeah? lol. Thank you for reading *winks

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